Enter the Comitatus: the Mind vs Godly Dependency

When I begin writing, a monotonous process ensues. I pace around the room speaking to myself as if engaged in conversation. I think about the topic long enough to where it seems like the thesis manifests itself in front of me. This is the skeleton of my prewriting stage, and I stress this in my classes. I tell my students not to rush, to think about the topic and the argument will eventually come to them. This works well in creative situations such as writing papers in the classroom, but there seems to be a flaw within that carries over into everyday life.

I specifically see this in myself. It took me a while to realize this, and I do not claim to have mastered it. I simply try to let go of my self confidence in a sense. I see that while I try to “think” my way through writing, I also try to “think” my way through life. I give so much credit to myself that I leave no room for things that I have no control over. I’ve sat in church many times trying to rationalize my faith; I tried to think about how God has saved me. There were many times where I couldn’t understand these points and eventually gave up trying to. It sometimes went to drastic measures where I would think until my head felt as if it could explode especially during the times I have been out of the Word and have tried in vain to think the fervor back into my heart.

Recently, Mark 10:15 finally made sense to me. At last, I was able to understand what it truly meant to be like a child. It is pure dependency. I have always depended on myself to understand what I was reading at times, what I was being told by others, and I always tried to analyze situations in my life on my own terms. I saw at that moment that I was never able to do any of those things. It is through God that I’m able to do anything in this life.

Having absolute dependency on God is the first step in overcoming our hardships. We all must understand that we can’t do anything without him. This was what I needed in my life; I knew then that the reason I couldn’t understand or rationalize my salvation was because I was trying to do so with my sinful, imperfect mind. I needed to lay all that I was at his feet and allow him to show me. In fact, I never “figured out” Mark 10:15; God revealed his wisdom to me. I can’t find, understand, or do anything without him.

In medieval Anglo-Saxon literature, the idea of Comitatus with God was overwhelming. This is the idea of companionship between servant and master where the servant has absolute need and dependency of the master. The servant knew that every fiber of his or her being depended on God. If this companionship was lost, all would cease to exist for the servant.

This idea is what we all must return to. We can’t rely on our own sinful thoughts to carry us through life. We must turn to Christ for full dependency giving full control to him, yet this is one of the greatest obstacles for most. The American culture clearly promotes self confidence and independence. Don’t be mistaken. These are all great qualities in moderation, but there does come a point in life when we must understand what each person is: a sinner who cannot live without Christ. The realization of this truth leads to a point where a person must ask, “how do I make it in this world?” Many people with serious issues such as addiction, abuse, and other dire situations ask this question; most know that they can’t do it alone. This should reveal a bit about how self righteous a lot of us may be. It seems that the ones that think they don’t need help and have everything under control are less enlightened than those who society deems less desirable. It is the ones in the darkest places in life that are sometimes blessed with the wisdom that they need something more.

The challenge is to examine ourselves at this point in life to see if we are more reliant on our own power or on God’s ultimate authority. Before we can truly make a dent in this religiously cynical world, we must surrender to God. I pray that once we submit to the Comitatus with Christ, we can allow God to work in us in ways we never dreamed. Only then can we understand what he did for us, how he died, and what it means for us now. This is the holy wisdom that we can never “figure out” with our own weak minds. God will give the wisdom, the courage, and love needed to fight through the tempering fires of life.